तुलसी विवाह पूजा विधि और कथा

In ancient times there was a mighty demon born of the ocean, Jalandhar. It is said he was born in the sea from the fire of Shiva's third eye, so he had the strength of the gods but the nature of a demon. He was married to Vrinda, the daughter of Kalanemi. Vrinda had been a devotee of Vishnu from birth, and she was a pativrata, a wife wholly faithful; her husband was her dharma. In thought, word and deed she never once looked at anyone but him.

There was a strange power in Vrinda's faithfulness. As long as her vow remained unbroken, no one could defeat Jalandhar. On the strength of it Jalandhar conquered first the kings and then the gods. He took Indra's kingdom, tormented the sages, and finally climbed Kailash to make war on Shiva himself. Shiva struck him again and again, but he would not die; over every wound Vrinda's austerity stood like armour. At home, Vrinda was seated in a rite for her husband's victory and had vowed not to rise from her seat until he returned.

In despair the gods went to Vishnu. 'Lord, no one in the three worlds can kill Jalandhar while Vrinda's chastity is unbroken. Find a way.' Vishnu was caught in a dilemma: Vrinda was his own devotee, and to break her vow was adharma. But the three worlds were in terror of Jalandhar. In the end, to save the world, he took a hard decision. He assumed the form of Jalandhar and came to Vrinda's palace.

When Vrinda saw her 'husband' returning she rose from her seat in joy, touched his feet and welcomed him home from the war. In that instant her vow was broken. Far away on Kailash, Jalandhar's armour fell, and Shiva's trident took off his head. The severed head of Jalandhar came and fell in Vrinda's palace. She looked at it, then at the 'husband' standing before her, and with the sight that her austerity had given her she understood everything. She said, 'You are not my husband. Who are you?' Vishnu appeared in his own form.

Vrinda's grief turned to anger. 'Narayana! All my life I worshipped you, and it was you who broke my vow by deceit and had my husband killed. If your heart is stone, then become stone!' It was a curse, and even the Lord cannot turn aside the curse of a sati. Vishnu turned that moment into black stone. This is the Shaligram, which to this day is found in the Gandaki river and worshipped as Vishnu. In some tellings Vrinda added that as she had been parted from her husband, so Vishnu too would in one birth be parted from his wife, and it is said that this became the separation from Sita in the avatar of Rama.

The gods and Lakshmi were in dismay: how would the world go on with Narayana turned to stone? All of them pleaded with Vrinda. When her anger ebbed, only grief remained. She softened the curse so far that the Lord would be worshipped even in the form of stone and would reveal himself to his devotees. Then she entered the fire with her husband's body. Where her ashes fell, a small green plant sprang up, and its fragrance made the whole air pure. This is the tulsi.

Vishnu stood by the tulsi plant and said, 'Vrinda, what you lost, you lost because of me. From today, as Tulsi, you will be dearer to me than Lakshmi herself. No worship of mine will be complete without your leaf; no offering will I accept without a sprig of tulsi. And your vow of marriage I will keep myself: every year on Kartik Shukla Dwadashi I will marry you in the form of the Shaligram, and whoever performs this wedding will receive the merit of kanyadaan and a place in my realm.'

Since then Tulsi Vivah is held every year on Kartik Shukla Dwadashi. The tulsi in the courtyard becomes the bride, the Shaligram the groom, and the family becomes the bride's side and gives her away. The Vishnu who broke Vrinda's vow comes to her door every year as the bridegroom's party; it is atonement and it is love. It is said that a couple who perform the Tulsi Vivah keep good fortune and the joy of children in their home, and that those whose marriage is obstructed find the obstruction removed.

Day and time: Tulsi Vivah is held on Kartik Shukla Dwadashi; many homes perform it on the evening of Dev Uthani Ekadashi itself, and some on any day from Dwadashi up to the full moon. The time of the wedding is the pradosh window, the hours after sunset, just as in the weddings of men and women. Check this year's tithi and muhurta in the panchang.

Things needed: the household tulsi in its pot; a Shaligram, or an image or picture of Vishnu or Krishna; four or five sugarcane stalks for the mandap; a red chunari, bangles, a bindi, sindoor, mehndi, a small mangalsutra or necklace and a nose ring, the bride's things for Tulsi; yellow cloth and a small turban or mauli thread for the groom; a kalash, a coconut and mango leaves; turmeric, roli, akshat, sandal paste, flowers and garlands; incense and ghee lamps; a havan kund and firewood, or at least one large lamp to stand for the fire; the fruits of the season, sugarcane, ber, water chestnut, amla, sweet potato and radish, and sweets; panchamrit; materials for rangoli.

Preparation: in the afternoon wash the spot in the courtyard or on the roof and draw a rangoli. Set the tulsi pot in the centre, stand a sugarcane stalk at each corner and tie the tops together; this is the mandap. Decorate it with flowers, mango leaves and a red chunari. Draw a swastika on the pot and colour it with turmeric and roli. Beside it, spread a red cloth on a chauki as the groom's seat.

Dressing the bride: bathe the tulsi plant with water, then drape the red chunari over it. Dress the pot with bangles, the mangalsutra or necklace, the bindi and the nose ring. Touch the leaves lightly with turmeric and roli, and draw small mehndi marks on the pot. Tulsi is now the bride.

Dressing the groom: bathe the Shaligram with panchamrit and Ganga water (and the image or picture, if that is what you have). Dress him in yellow cloth, mark him with sandal, garland him and tie the mauli or a small turban on his head. Seat the groom on the chauki facing the tulsi, towards the east or north.

Opening the puja: in the pradosh window the whole family sits at the mandap. First set up the kalash and remember Ganesha with 'Om Gam Ganapataye Namah'. Take water and akshat in the hand and make the sankalp that today you are performing the wedding of Lord Shaligram and Tulsi. Bow to Tulsi with 'Om Tulasyai Namah' and to the Lord with 'Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya'. The women of the house sing the mangal songs and the wedding songs of bride and groom, just as at the wedding of a daughter of the house.

Kanyadaan: the senior couple of the house, or the couple performing the wedding, become Tulsi's family. The husband holds the tulsi pot with both hands and the wife pours a stream of water over it; then both offer Tulsi before the Shaligram: 'We give our daughter Tulsi to Lord Narayana.' This is the kanyadaan, and by tradition its merit equals that of giving away a daughter of the house. After the kanyadaan, join Tulsi and the Shaligram with a single garland or mauli thread; this is the gathbandhan, the tying of the knot.

The fire and the pheras: light the fire in the havan kund, or take the large ghee lamp as the fire, and offer a few oblations of ghee, sesame and barley. Then a man of the house lifts the Shaligram in both hands and walks around the tulsi seven times; these are the seven pheras. At every round the women sing and the bell rings. In some families both the tulsi pot and the Shaligram are carried around the fire; both customs are followed.

Sindoor: after the seven pheras, offer sindoor to Tulsi on the Shaligram's behalf, on the pot near the leaves or on the chunari. Put the mangalsutra on Tulsi. Then do the joint aarti of the Lord and Tulsi. Read or listen to the story above. Offer the seasonal fruit, sugarcane, ber, water chestnut, amla and sweets, and give everyone prasad: this is the wedding feast. The family eats together; no tulsi leaves are plucked on this day.

Closing: the next day take down the sugarcane and the chunari with respect. Share the sugarcane as prasad and keep the chunari on the tulsi or in the puja room through the year. Homes that have held the Tulsi Vivah for the first time take a vow to hold it every year. With the Tulsi Vivah the wedding season opens, in the home and in the community.

Tulsi is dearer to Vishnu than Lakshmi herself; that is the promise made to Vrinda. For this reason no worship of Vishnu, Krishna or Rama is counted complete without a tulsi leaf, and the charanamrit and prasad of temples are given with a tulsi leaf in them. Chanting on a tulsi mala and wearing a tulsi kanthi at the throat are the marks of the Vaishnava tradition. A tulsi in the house is itself the reason a house is held pure; it is said that the messengers of Yama do not enter a courtyard where tulsi grows. In Ayurveda tulsi is the medicine for cough, fever and ailments of the breath, and the plant cleans the air; faith and health meet in this one plant.

Some rules for keeping tulsi at home have come down through generations. Keep the plant in the north, east or north-east of the house, never in the south; keep it where it gets sunlight and where the surroundings are clean, with shoes, brooms and rubbish well away from it. Water it every morning after bathing, and light a ghee lamp beside it at dusk. Tulsi is not watered and its leaves are not plucked on Sundays and on Ekadashi; it is believed that on these days Tulsi herself keeps a fast for Vishnu. Leaves are not plucked after dusk, nor without need; when plucking, do not use the nails but the tips of the fingers, and bow first.

Tulsi leaves are offered to Vishnu, Krishna, Rama and Hanuman, but not to Shiva or Ganesha; this is a clear rule of the tradition. An offered tulsi leaf is never considered stale; it can be washed and offered again, and no tulsi leaf should go into the rubbish, only into the soil of the pot or into flowing water. If the plant dries up, immerse it in a river or flowing water or in clean earth and plant a new one; keeping a dead tulsi in the house is not thought well of. In the month of Kartik, lighting a lamp beside the tulsi every day and performing the Tulsi Vivah are acts of special merit. A tulsi at home asks for a little time every day, and for exactly that long every day it reminds us of the Lord.

By tradition a couple who perform the Tulsi Vivah receive the merit of kanyadaan, which is why homes without a daughter do it with special devotion. It is said to keep good fortune, wealth and the joy of children in the house, to keep love between husband and wife, and to remove the obstacles of young women and men whose marriage is being delayed. The message of Vrinda's story is that faithfulness has such power that even the Lord becomes its debtor, and pays that debt every year.

Tulsi Vivah is the first auspicious rite after the chaturmas, and so it is taken as the opening of the household's auspicious work for the year ahead. The day is said to matter especially to families with a wedding coming this year, to those whose charts show marriage forming late, and to those who pray for happiness in married life.

After the pheras and the sindoor, the Tulsi aarti 'Jai Jai Tulsi Mata' is sung, and with it the Vishnu aarti 'Om Jai Jagdish Hare'. After the aarti, share the prasad of sugarcane, ber, water chestnut and sweets and sit down to the wedding feast.